I want your questions!

Do you have any questions for me regarding Cauchemar Vivant? It may be something that's bothered you from the very beginning, or maybe something recently. Not understanding how this vampiric process works? Want a longer history of these Renfields? Then have I got a deal for you!

Since we're nearing the end of Cauchemar Vivant, I want to make sure that I covered every base, hit every little detail so far. There are not that many chapters left, so I figured I would come to you, my lovely readers, for any information you want answered!
Also, it'd be nice to have a small FAQ, right? ;)

If you have a question (or questions), then please do the following:
Send your questions to cauchemarvivant@hotmail.com
OR
Send your questions to http://www.formspring.me/LunarSiren

Although it would definitely be easier through email, I leave the choice up to you!

Thank you to everyone! There is no deadline (as of right now), so submit those questions whenever you want! -Alice

Chapter Sixteen

In a matter of seconds, Alice’s handiwork was destroyed. I tore the sticks out of my hair, pulled off the boots, and had the dress in a wrinkled heap before I even opened the suitcase. Stretching, I ran my hands through my hair, trying to shake the headache away. It only made it worse.

I didn’t know what Edward was expecting we would do while Jasper was busy, but I had an idea. Answers would be nice. I thought we had negotiated for answers in Forks; turned out they still let me go in blind. I wonder what else they lied about.

I didn’t want to get dressed and interrogate a vampire. I really, really didn’t. The bed was looking more and more comfortable. I wanted to lie down, fall asleep, and let all the terrible things wash away, but I didn’t let myself sit down or I’d never get back up. There was work to do be done, and it all started with a few answers. I wasn’t happy about it—I wasn’t even good at it—but interrogation was necessary.

The thigh holster came off before I threw the suitcase on the bed, popping it open. Either Alice wasn’t committed to dressing me, or she stored the extravagant outfits in another suitcase. Where were the others, and what awful secrets did they hide? This suitcase was barely full. I dug past the skirts and blouses, searching for something suitable to wear for comfort. Alice knew I liked simple, but I wasn’t unconventional. To me, skirts did not say comfort. Comfort meant sneakers and jeans, and I doubted Alice packed that. But then I found hope. Resting on the bottom were faded blue jeans and a few solid scoop-neck T-shirts. I quickly pulled them on, not even caring how ridiculous I looked with the push-up bra. I felt way more normal than I had beforehand.

My pistol sat on the bed, waiting patiently to be returned to its proper place. With the jeans, the band wouldn’t work. I didn’t care if any of the vamps disapproved; I was putting on my rig. The older vamps would simply have to get used to someone being heavily armed.

Grabbing the duffel bag, I eagerly unzipped it, grinning at the sight inside. At least I knew no one bothered my luggage. Everything was still in the bag down to the cleaning utensils, and with a quick check, all my weapons were still loaded. Not one magazine out of place. Either these were stupid vampires, or they really underestimated me.

I pulled out my rig and another strap of fabric. Oh, the wrist sheath for the knives. It wouldn’t hurt to put it on, just in case. I slid into my rig, finally settling my gun back under my arm. Normalcy never felt so good. I only wished I wasn’t twenty thousand leagues under the sea, or ground as it were. I wanted to be holed up in my room in Forks, or maybe out in the Phoenix sunshine. Actually, I wouldn’t mind a nice walk on the beach in Jacksonville with Renee. Where was a genie when you needed it?

Slinging the Striker over my shoulder, I put on the “big girl” pants and flung open the door. Time to get to work, although I wouldn’t say questioning vampires was on my résumé. I tended to shoot first, ask questions later.

Edward was sprawled out on the sofa in the black and tan parlor. Dressed in a loose shirt and jeans, he looked completely at ease. He was so relaxed he even had his nose in a book. How many times had he been here before? Not that they seemed really friendly, but Edward and Aro were close to showing buddy-buddy behavior; it was a little too much for my comfort.

With a small swing, I interrupted his peace and quiet by shoving the Striker in his face, setting the barrel on top of the book. It brought his hand down by a few inches, lining the barrel up perfectly with his broad forehead. He barely spared me a glance, but kept his attention on the book, turning a page. The picture of ease. Oddly enough, his indifference just fueled my anger.

“I want some damn answers,” I growled. “I’m tired of you vampires lying to me. We’re partners, right? We’re supposed to work together, and I’m not sure you realize exactly what it means for me to admit it out loud.”

“What happened to your dress?” he asked, nonchalant.

In the middle of the floor in a silky heap. “I didn’t burn it, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You should hang it up. You might need to wear it again.”

I shook my head. “Don’t ignore me. You either tell me what’s going on or I will blow your head off.”

“You’ll lose your protection then,” he said.

“I have all the protection I need right here.” I almost chambered a round—after all, the sound of a shotgun pump was the most intimidating sound in the world—but that would be a waste of a bullet.

Those gold eyes peered up at me from thick lashes, a small smile crooking his lips. I had a feeling he didn’t know I had incendiary ammo; if he did, he wouldn’t be so calm.

“You need more than a few guns to help you, Bella,” he said with a chuckle. “You need someone who can see a vampire coming, and match them blow-for-blow.”

“If there’s one thing I know, it’s that vampires aren’t faster than a bullet. And at this range? You definitely have no chance,” I answered darkly.

“Want to try that faith?” he challenged.

If he wasn’t smiling like a jackass, I would shoot him. I’d enjoy it, too. But that smile looked a lot like someone about to win a bet.

I pushed the gun closer to his face; if I shot him from this distance, there would be a lot of splatter, but there was no way I’d miss even if he moved. He must have seen the look on my face, one that said I would shoot him, and that made the smile falter. It was my chance to grin, but it wasn’t nice. In fact, I felt very evil staring down at him. I was about to load a bullet, just to watch his face turn to fear, but then he wasn’t there.

I felt the Striker ripped from my hands; I gave it up without a fight, but that didn’t mean I was going down. He was behind me, his body so close to mine I could feel the chill. I struck out with my elbow; he caught it. I turned to face him, and he let me go, so I could complete the motion. It gave me enough time to pull a knife from the wrist sheath. When I saw his surprised eyes, without pausing, I tried to plunge it into his neck. The blade wasn’t even an inch away when he caught my hand. I fought him, trying to press forward, as my other hand came up for my gun. He grabbed my wrist, pulling my arm over my head; with a painless twist of my other wrist, the knife clattered onto the tile, and I was being pushed back onto the sofa.

Edward towered over me, holding my hands behind my head on the sofa. I tried to wrestle free, but it was useless. He had me pinned, and there was nothing I could do about it; there were no weak spots available, no way I could twist out of his sure grasp. I would have kicked him, if it wouldn’t break my foot.

I scowled at his stupid grin. Why did the Cullens have to painfully demonstrate my weaknesses? Couldn’t they just tell me and let it go?

“Are you done?” I spat.

“I think so,” he replied cheerfully, “but next time it might be easier to get answers by asking a question.”

“Ever wonder how well you’d be able to talk around a gun barrel?”

“Bella, I don’t think you’re in a position to be making threats. Now that you realize you need me, can we get down to business, or would you like to keep kicking and screaming?”

“I don’t need anyone. I can do this on my own,” I grouched.

He raised an eyebrow. “I just proved you can’t best a vampire, and you think you can navigate this entire underground, avoiding possible attacks, without another vampire? Just admit you need our help, and I’ll let you go.”

I lowered my voice to a deadly whisper, speaking slowly so he would understand every word. “Over your dead body.”

He leaned in close, forcing me to press back against the sofa. It might’ve been the light, but it looked like his eyes were sparkling with delight. “I think you mean to say under.” I gave a short frustrated scream as he moved away with a chuckle, releasing my hands. “You’re so stubborn, it’s almost ridiculous. We got you down here safely; don’t you trust us to get you out?”

I rubbed my wrists and jumped up, grabbing the knife and searching for the Striker. Where did he throw it? “Why would I trust you?” I snarled. “You’re a vampire, and you’re trying to get me killed! Aro is out to get me, and you let him fuck with my mind. Where were you when that was happening? Not exactly what I call a good protector. You didn’t even tell me how a Renfield should act!”

“I thought you might have asked about it earlier, before you even agreed,” he said, producing my shotgun from behind his back. I swiped it back, giving him the look he deserved. He didn’t look repentant at all as he continued, “You didn’t, so we weren’t going to bring it up. We wanted your meeting to be candid. If you walked in there like a good little servant, Aro would’ve lost interest. He’s happy Jasper can’t tame you.”

“L-lost interest?” I sputtered. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”

“You should’ve thought to ask. But you don’t want Aro to lose interest. You want to get close to him, right? He likes that you appear so out of control, and he’s positively giddy that he couldn’t get into your mind; it means you’ll be a tough conquest. I was watching his mind the whole time we were in there. I watched as he imagined exactly what he would do to you; how he would slowly break you, as long as it meant he would find the secret to controlling you. But you ‘belong’ to Jasper.”

I threw the Striker’s sling over my head, adjusting it so it fit alongside my hip. Touching it made me feel calmer, or maybe that was because I was finally getting some answers. I kept my eyes on the gun as I asked, “Besides keeping me relatively safe, what does being Jasper’s Renfield mean to Aro?”

“It just means he has to try harder. There are certain laws in our world that even Aro respects. Stealing another vampire’s servant is punishable by death. He was willing to make an exception for you, Bella,” Edward said gravely. “Aro reads every thought you’ve ever had, but it’s more than that. He can plant ideas in your mind like you thought them up yourself. He silently bends you to his will. The law only says that the servant can’t be stolen, but if the servant wants to switch masters, it’s between those two vampires. Most of his private harem was developed by his workaround.”

I sat in one of the plush armchairs. “He made them join him. And he was going to do the same with me.”

Edward nodded. “Exactly. If you didn’t keep him out, he was literally going to roll you with his power. I have to say, I was really surprised he couldn’t break your walls. You have no idea how relieved I am. I thought I was the only one unable to see inside your mind. When I first met you, I thought I was broken. I stayed close while you recovered, waiting for a whisper from your mind even while you talked to Carlisle, but there was nothing. For me, it’s just silence, like you’re never thinking. Aro works through visualization; memories are pictures, not words. He doesn’t hear or see silence; he sees a large steel wall he needs to break through.”

I laid my head against the back of the chair and sighed. Aro didn’t want to just mind-fuck me, he wanted to possess me. The thought was way too icky for me, so I quickly changed subjects. Whatever Aro wanted from me, I’d deal with it later, when I had the chance to kill him.

“Tell me what happened between Jasper and James in the tunnels,” I said with a sigh.

“I’m not sure, he won’t tell me. It’s just a small rivalry; nothing that concerns either of us,” Edward answered as if he was reciting.

“What if James doesn’t follow the laws?” If I had to fight James, I wouldn’t win. I’d keep thinking of the way he threw Jasper against the wall. Yeah, wouldn’t be able to focus on that fight.

Edward easily ignored the question with a shrug. He picked up the book from the floor and gracefully plopped onto the sofa. He set the book beside him, stretching his long legs out in front of him. Every motion was very slow, and it took me a second to realize he was stalling. Why bother? I already knew he wasn’t going to answer. Fine, I would ask Jasper later. I changed the subject again.

“Since Aro can read every thought you’ve ever had—which would have been nice to know before,” I stressed, “what happened when he read Jasper’s mind? The story he gave didn’t sound like the truth at all.”

“Because it isn’t,” he said simply. “It takes many years to achieve what Jasper has, but being around Aro so long, apparently, you pick up the talent to stay alive and in his good graces. In a matter of months, Jasper found a way to quickly hide or rewrite memories. On our drive over until the time he touched Aro, Jasper carefully changed his memories. I caught onto it, letting him create our cover story. I thought it was brilliant, thinking completely in pictures and not words. Although Aro is very powerful, he can’t weigh pictures for truth like he can words; spoken or otherwise. His puts all his faith in his ability. He doesn’t believe anyone can lie through their thoughts.”

“So you just . . . lied straight to his face?” I balked, stupidly. Vampires were not just excellent liars, but also excellent lie detectors. How could they lie so bluntly without being called out?

“That’s right,” Edward grinned. “I wasn’t as good at it, so as our mental conversation droned on, I watched Aro’s thoughts carefully, steering him towards Carlisle. That’s what he was mostly after in my mind. I’m sure he’s still debating my newfound curiosity.”

“Why is he so interested in Carlisle anyway?”

Edward shrugged, his smile becoming more mysterious. “I’m just a lowly vampire, Bella. I don’t have all the answers in the world.”

A mind-reader without answers? I bet he was full of useless information. Why wouldn’t he know a few important things? But I’d learned from Carlisle if a vampire ignored the question, they would keep ignoring it. You try for a few answers, yet you only end up with a headache. Vampires, ugh.

I pouted in the chair. “Well maybe you should,” I huffed. “It would make things so much easier.”

“But perhaps I know more than I let on.”

“This cloak-and-dagger crap is getting old. Can’t you give simple, straight-forward answers?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” He stood, taking the book with him as he went towards the raised den.

I marched after him, still demanding answers, as we stepped up into the cozy room. The walls were lined with books; two chairs identical to the others in the parlor were pushed against the back wall. Out of curiosity, I scanned a shelf with my eyes. Some spines were decorated with different languages, but there were the usual collections of poems and classics. Hmm, a vampire with a book collection? I smell a cliché.

“Where did all these come from?” I asked, carefully running my fingers across old leather spines. I could still feel the anger boiling just under my skin, but I was surrounded by books, ancient books, that I couldn’t help but stare. Maybe genies do exist . . . now where was some sunshine?

“It’s a mix of Aro’s private collection and most of what Jasper left here,” Edward replied. “Maria didn’t like how much he read, but Aro insisted he keep the books. Rarely anyone reads down here. I think these books helped Jasper crawl up the ladder faster. They have similar interests and would discuss hundreds of different authors.”

I gave him a hard, questioning look. “I thought you said you didn’t know Jasper before he joined your coven.”

In a blink he moved from the shelf to the step behind me, only a small breeze giving him away. “I’ve heard a lot of things,” he said curtly. Another topic to avoid, huh? Why wasn’t Jasper back yet? He seemed to volunteer information. Ignoring a question was just another way to lie.

“You want to know more about Renfields, right?” Edward called from the main room.

I’d like to know a lot of things, but I’d let him keep his secrets for now. I didn’t want to shoot him just yet; I knew he and Jasper were the only ones able to protect me—if they wanted to. Eventually I would have Edward cornered, and then he’d have no choice but to tell me. I just had to find a way to talk circles around a vamp. Was it even possible?

I peered through the doorway to see his stoic face. “Yeah, a little more than their background would be nice.” And if I started acting like a real Renfield, and if it meant Aro lost interest, fine with me. I didn’t need to be close to him to kill him. My guns worked just as fine from a distance, thank you very much.

“Then let’s go meet your new friends. It should be more exciting than any monologue I can provide.”

I stepped down, running over to him as he started down the hallway. I grabbed his shoulder but couldn’t turn him around; he did that for me. “Wait, wait, wait! Meet? Why are we going to meet some Renfields? Can’t you just explain it to me?”

His eyes bored down on me with a creepy look, and I didn’t even understand it, but suddenly I felt like a deer in the proverbial headlights. “Do you know what the most intoxicating part is about stalking your prey?” he asked softly.

His voice made me shudder, and I immediately stepped back. What got into him? He flashed a dark, almost sadistic grin. My reflexes had me reaching for my gun without a conscious thought, but Edward predicted it; he caught me just like he had earlier.

“The anticipation,” he answered. “Watching them wonder when you’ll strike. It makes the outcome so much sweeter.”

My heart was beating so fast it might have skipped a few. My skin crawled with a cold sweat as I tried to keep the fear off my face. I was steadily losing that fight the longer I focused on his eyes. I knew I shouldn’t look, but I couldn’t help it. I was entranced, yet scared, with the way they were changing colors, getting darker. I was nearly hyperventilating by the time I realized I wasn’t fighting him.

He drew me in by my arm, and still I didn’t fight him. My feet moved of their own accord until I was pressed tight against his chest, hands resting on his shoulders. His arms wrapped around my back, securing me to him, before tilting my head up by a short tug on the ends of my hair. His eyes were so black, they were like two onyx stones set in his face; they were terrifying, yet compelling. I watched as they came closer to my face, this time holding my breath.

Edward pressed his nose against my neck with a sharp breath. The quiet moan he gave sent a shiver down my spine; my eyes twisted shut, my fingers digging into his shoulders. “Much, much sweeter,” he whispered, lips ghosting over my skin, before drifting away.

I stumbled back, wrapping my arms around my chest, gasping for air. My ability to think straight was back in my possession, and I used it to release a long stream of cursing. Damn it, what was wrong with me? What did he do?

Edward lost the evil face and chuckled as I tried not to turn into a sobbing mess. I had been a second away from trusting a vampire, and then he pulled this. Why did I ever think they could protect me? I had to protect myself from them! It was stupid of me to let my guard down. I should’ve shot him when he started ignoring questions.

I. Fucking. Hate. Vampires.

Edward wasn’t even concerned about me; he was already halfway to the door by the time my legs stopped trembling. He stood at the end of the short hall, waiting. He honestly expected me to go with him after that? I had no idea where he was going to lead me, and I didn’t want to find out. He could go alone.

“Don’t you want to learn more about Renfields?” he goaded childishly. “I’m not going to wait around forever.”

“Fuck you,” I hissed.

“You won’t impress anyone with that limited vocabulary, Bella. Maybe some time around real Renfields will help you. Come on; it’s not going to hurt you.”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked with soft concern. “It was just a small test. It wasn’t supposed to hurt you.”

“A test?” I screeched. “That wasn’t a test! You were trying to control me, or eat me, or something! If you come near me again—”

“They’re expecting you, Bella,” he interrupted. “You’re a new Renfield, as far as they know. You at least need to make a small visit.”

“For what?”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t say; I’ve never had a Renfield and I haven’t been down here enough to know what they do for their masters. You’ll just have to go and see, and try not to kill anyone.”

“You’ll be the first to get it,” I mumbled, starting to close the distance.

“What was that?” he asked playfully.

“Coming, Edward,” I replied sweetly, even going so far to fake the smile. He mirrored me with a pleasant smile, holding the door open. I stood in the hall. No way was I going first and giving him my back. Besides, a “good protector” would go first and make sure there was no danger.

He gave in with a sigh and a roll of his eyes, stepping through the doorway. He motioned me out of the room. I considered slamming the door in his face and locking it, maybe set a chair under the handle, but it wouldn’t do any good. I followed after him, closing the door behind me. It was going to be a very long day.