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I couldn’t tell her because I knew the minute I did, I would beg her not to tell anyone, and when the truth got out it would endanger her. Not that I was sure I was in danger of being kicked out to begin with, but I would disappoint Charlie. Heck, I was already disappointing him, he just didn’t know it.
Guess I needed to learn how to keep a secret better.
If the truth did get out, and I was certain it would, especially with the way Paul eyed me on his way to his room, then not only would I be in trouble but also the Cullens’.
Wait, wait, why did I care about them? I was done with them.
In all honestly, I had no fucking clue. Because I could use it? For what? I never wanted to see those vampires ever again. I should rip it up, burn it—I don’t care how it’s done, I had to do it for the safety of our group. For my safety. And I guess . . . for the Cullen’s safety, as well. I hated it, but I was scared that if someone found out who the number belonged to, it would lead them straight to the Cullen household and the people who so kindly took care of me would be killed.
No, I have to stop thinking this way! Who cares about a coven of vampires—it doesn’t matter what they did for me, I’m not doing anything for them, and I’m certainly not going to see them again. Ever. I hit my head against the wall, hopefully getting back a bit of my common sense in the process, and heaved a sigh. The number was still in my back pocket, I was still obsessing over it, and I still couldn’t make up my mind. I just had to get out of the house, shoot a gun, smoke a cigarette—something to get my mind off it. Maybe I could ship off to
Speaking of action, where was Jake? He was around when he offered me his bed to take a nap and when I woke up two hours later he was no where to be found. He was gone for four hours and Billy showed no concern at all. That was a little fishy to me. If my kid went missing in a big city I would throw a fit and get the police involved. But Billy was sure he would come back sooner or later, and Charlie agreed with him, so who was I to worry?
“Bella, hey, are you okay?” Angela shook my shoulder gently and I snapped back to earth with a jump. She stepped back. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you but you were looking a little pale. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied with a sigh.
“Ever since you showed up you seem a little different. Have you talked to anyone about him?”
“Who? What have you heard?”
“Seth. Your dad told me about the attack. I figured you wouldn’t share such personal feelings with a stranger like the doctor, but we’re friends, you can talk to me.”
Oh, Seth, right. Not that horrible dirty secret gnawing at the back of my head. That doesn’t exist.
I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, Angela. Maybe after this mess if over, when I have time to sit and think, then I’ll consider talking about it. Until then . . . I can’t.” I can’t lose this reason to fight.
She smiled gently, just like she used to back in the high school cafeteria when that boy looked at her. What was his name? He always followed her around, too afraid to actually say anything to her. If I recall he died in a car crash sometime last year. I thought that smile died right along with him.
“I understand, Bella, really. Talking about it can be hard sometimes. Just know that I’m here for you, and that my offer will be there. Take it up whenever you want.”
“Thanks Angela, you’re a great friend.” I stood from the sofa and gave her a quick hug. Eventually I’d have to talk about it, all of it, and if I had to do it I’d definitely share with Angela. I used to share everything with her and Jessica. Lauren not so much—I stopped sharing the personal things with her after puberty hit. She was envious I had boobs while she had none, and when Lauren gets jealous she’s anything but nice.
“We’re all in this together, right? We all need someone to lean on once in a while. Hey, why don’t you get some fresh air? Jake was going to teach me hand-to-hand combat out back, want to join?”
She had already informed me earlier that Charlie had taught her to shoot a gun, and that she wasn’t at all a bad shot, but watching sweet Angela throw a punch? This I had to see. The girl wouldn’t even squish an ant.
I followed her out the door in the kitchen to the surprisingly spacious yard behind the house. There was barely an incline, meaning the house had been basically built on top of the hill. The grass was stunning shades of green despite the fall season already in effect, the leaves turning colors on the trees. The brown fence stretched so far into the patch of trees that I was sure the end didn’t even exist. And strangely enough, there was a giant man stretching his legs in the yard like he hadn’t been missing for hours.
He stood and waved. “Mornin’, Bella,” he called. “How are you feeling?”
Why did everyone keep asking me that? Did I really look that bad? I thought I looked normal enough after my shower. I plopped onto one of the patio chairs sitting on the porch and said, “Just great, that power nap did wonders, thanks.”
He jogged towards the porch and leaned against the wall giving me a cocky smile. “You know you’re really cute when you sleep. You talk and everything.”
I felt the blood rush to my face. Talk? I thought I outgrew that habit. It was the number one reason why I barely went to sleepovers when I was younger; the next morning the other girls would make fun of me for mumbling my crush’s name throughout the night, or some other very embarrassing thing. Oh god, what if I said something at Cullen’s house? I went that whole time without thinking about it! I could have whispered plans during the night and the Cullens’ could have heard.
But they never mentioned anything about my sleep talking. If I was lucky, my subconscious was smart to stay quiet in the face of potential danger.
“I d-don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stammered, fighting hard to get the blush off my face.
“Please, no reason to be coy, you did it as a kid too. It was cute then and it’s definitely cute now.” He waggled his eyebrows.
Angela giggled and I tried to choke out a laugh but I wasn’t convinced it was all that funny. He stretched languidly and it was then I noticed he was only wearing a pair of beat up, faded jean shorts, all those muscles rippling and glistening in the sunlight—what little there was. He was crazy going around barefoot and without a shirt in such chilly weather; fall was in the air, it was the perfect time to get sick. We weren’t in
The two moved further out into the yard and the height difference between them couldn’t have been more laughable. Jake towered so far over Angela’s head she had to crane her neck to look up at him. I relaxed in the plastic chair as I watched him run her through basic drills and couldn’t help the peace that fell over me. I wished it was a blanket that I could throw over my head whenever I wanted. It was so quiet out here even with the city just down the road, but it wasn’t the usual quiet of Forks where you could hear the monsters lurking outside your window. This quiet was tranquil, the kind that was perfectly accompanied by chirping birds and babbling brook, maybe throw in some harp music for fun. Yeah, just like that.
I closed my eyes with a smile.
Maybe I didn’t want to go back to Forks; maybe I wanted to stay right here in the peace and quiet. Forget everything that ever happened.
Seth’s face flashed behind my eyes and I jumped out of my chair in surprise. I definitely had to get out of here. This place would drive me crazy. I wasn’t meant to idle in peace, I was meant to kill. I had to find Charlie and tell him I was leaving.
“Where are you going, Bella?” Jacob called just as my hand touched the doorknob. I could’ve ignored him, should have, but instead I turned back around to face the giant.
“I’m going to find Charlie, continue with your lesson,” I said.
“Well hold on. Do you need a refresher course? You’ve been out of commission for a while, you might be rusty.”
I waved him off. “No thanks. I’m good.”
“Then how about a little help? She’s got the basics. Why not put her to the test?”
“You can’t fight a vampire hand-to-hand, anyway. If they get that close, you obviously did something wrong.”
Angela giggled—seriously, giggled like a five year old. This girl was planning on killing vampires? She’d be lucky if she made it ten minutes in the field.
Jake had a goofy grin on his face, the one that said he was up to no good, and I stepped away from the door. “Then how about a friendly spar?”
He couldn’t be serious. Did he realize he was five heads taller than me? And about two houses wide through the upper body. He’d kill me—dislocate a bone with a simple flick of his wrist. Oh yeah, I could take him.
I jumped off the porch, stretching my arms as I joined the truck in the yard. I couldn’t rely on strength here, I had to be quick and use his momentum against him. Sure, no problem at all beside the fact there was no way I could flip someone as big as him. Hopefully he didn’t know how to use his body, that all his muscle was just for show.
“I think we can go one round, for demonstration purposes,” I said with a smile.
“A demo, sure. Just remember who made you eat sand when we wrestled as kids. You were a wimp!” He laughed.
“Only because you cheated! Angela, you might want to watch from the porch. I have a feeling I’m going to throw this fool all around the yard.”
“You get him, Bella,” Angela laughed, high-fiving me as she passed.
Jake kept his feet together, his back straight with his fists loose near his face while I sunk to my usual stance; feet shoulder-length apart, right foot forward, and fists close to my face. If he was taking such an amateur stance I knew he would be no match; with a single punch I could spin him and have him on his back. Yet he could be playing me, making me believe he was only a bar brawler. I could definitely see Jake smashing stools over someone’s head—that is, if anyone dared to try him.
We stood about a yard away from each other, both of us with a smirk, knowing what the other was up to. I wouldn’t move and neither would he. If I moved first he could easily grab me and shove my face into the dirt. If he moved, I had the chance to jump out of the way. I stood on guard, waiting for him crack. He was getting antsy, juggling his weight from foot to foot. Just a little longer and he’d give.
He did.
Jake faked left, my fists came up, nearly blocking my sight, but I saw him throw his weight right and jumped out of the way. I felt the breeze from his right hook brush my gut. I used my momentum to make a quick roundhouse kick, hoping I could topple him with a single hit. He didn’t even flinch as he blocked my foot with his arm.
As if watching in slow motion, I saw the smile spread on his face as he rushed me. It felt like I couldn’t get my foot down fast enough and he tackled me onto the ground. I struggled to get out from underneath him, his muscles nearly smothering me; he even had an arm around my neck until I elbowed him in the ribs. I had the upper hand while he focused on the pain. I threw my fist into his jaw and rolled us over, keeping a hard weight on his stomach and grabbing his hands. The smart idea would have been to roll away as soon as I was clear, it’s easier to defend on your feet than on your knees, but I was feeling overconfident and hadn’t felt this kind of rush for a while. Fighting with Jake was invigorating.
Angela cheered from the porch as we caught our breath. Jake grinned up at me and I couldn’t help it, I smiled right back. I was sure we were thinking the same thing. It was great to see Jake again, I really missed him and all the crazy antics we got into; like the time we stole an ATV from the Yorkie’s house and smashed mailboxes in the dead of night. The story didn’t have a happy ending, but it was fun and I would do it again if I could. Man, fighting beside Jake was going to be great, even if a part of me was opposed to the idea. He was younger than me, he shouldn’t be risking his life, he should be in school.
“Hey you two, stop horsin’ around!” Billy called from the porch. “It’s lunch time, come eat.”
“Hurry Bella, before Paul eats it all!” Angela followed Billy back inside the house.
I stood, stepping off to one side of Jake’s body, and offered him a hand up. His warm palm wrapped around mine and with a wink he pulled me onto the grass, immediately using his weight to keep me down. I half-heartedly kneed his back but he quickly leaned back and held them down. Big mistake.
“You know it’s been a while since we’ve actually played together,” he breathed. “I miss hanging out with you, Bella. I hate that you got wrapped up in this. Why don’t you stay in
“Why do you care?” I panted. Where was this even coming from?
“Because I’m scared for you, Bells. You shouldn’t be fighting vampires, leave that to the other guys.”
Bells? I hadn’t heard that nickname for years. It was kind of touching . . . but then his words sunk in. “I can’t fight because I’m a girl, is that it?”
“No! That’s not what I meant at all, I just—”
I jammed my fingers into the weak skin of his throat and took pleasure in the way he choked. I pulled myself out from under him, stomping towards the house. Forks may not have been my favorite place when I first moved there, but it slowly became my home and there was no way I was going to sit back and let someone else fight my battle. Jake didn’t even deserve to be in our operation—when was the last time he was in Forks? It was my battle, not his.
Jacob was still trying to catch his breath when I slammed the door. Angela sat at the round table with a cup of tea in her hand and concern on her face. I waved her off as I sat across from her. I did not need the counseling.
Paul came from the living room and grabbed the chair beside Angela and I was surprised to see he wasn’t glaring at me. In fact, he looked a little embarrassed about something. His eyes flickered between me and the table until I finally had enough and slammed my fists on the table.
“What? Do you have something to say to me or not?” I barked. Yeah, it was a little uncalled for but I wasn’t exactly feeling friendly thanks to Jake. Not that Paul deserved my friendship after what he did, but why couldn’t men just come out and say what they want?
Paul sunk into his chair with wide eyes, shaking his head, and then he realized I was a girl and sat up straight. His eyes got that hard glare that seemed to be glued onto his face. “You don’t have to bite my head off,” he snarled. “You are the most temperamental bitch I’ve ever met.”
Charlie happened to choose that time to step away from the stove where he was doing heavens-know-what; honestly, I was a little worried if Charlie was trying to cook, he had the ability to burn cereal—I saw it happen once. He set a platter piled high with grilled cheese sandwiches in the middle of the table and subtly punched Paul upside the head as he withdrew. I tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle my smile. Dads’ rock.
I dropped Paul’s problem and pulled one of the steaming sandwiches onto the plate in front of me, poking curiously at it. There was no way it was edible. Charlie couldn’t learn to cook even if he made a time machine, went back to his childhood, and started from there.
Angela confirmed my fears. “You’re so lucky, Bella. Your dad is an awesome chef. He can make anything and it’ll taste good.”
He made a time machine! I raised an eyebrow at Charlie. “Is she talking about you?”
He chuckled, ruffling my hair before returning to the stove. “Sue gave me some pointers, said I was a natural. I can even cook my own steak now.” He seemed way too proud about that.
I took a small bite and was immediately assaulted with melted cheesy goodness. It was surprisingly delicious for being so easy to make, but perhaps it was the knowledge that Charlie would no longer depend on me or Sue for meals that was really good. I didn’t mind cooking for him but when he always wanted fish, yeah, that got annoying. Guess old dogs can learn new tricks. Note to self: buy Sue an awesome present as a thank you.
“It’s good, and I’m proud of you, but don’t you think you went overboard, Dad? We don’t have an army here,” I said.
Angela snorted a laugh. “We don’t need an army with the way Jacob and Paul eat. I’ve watched them put away two whole pizzas each. You’ll be surprised by how much they eat.”
I shrugged and dug into my sandwich as Jake came through the door, slamming it so hard the frame broke. Impressive. He apologized, said he’d fix it later, before sitting heavily in the chair next to me. I shuffled my chair further around the table away from him for more elbow room. Jake grabbed five sandwiches from the platter while Paul was working on his eighth. How could they possible put so much away? They were huge, sure, but that much grease had to be bad for anyone.
Charlie took the last chair beside Angela with his own plate of food and coffee. He used to drink a ton of beer once he quit the force but put the cans up when he realized it slowed him down; a bloated, drunken fool was a vamps favorite flavor. The rumor was that the vampire could get drunk from the blood.
The table was quiet enough I was starting to feel uncomfortable. It was thick and tense, and it didn’t help that I had two guys glaring at me. Paul’s hatred was unnecessary, but I was pretty sure Jake and I weren’t going to be on good terms for a while. He could apologize first. I felt bad we were fighting but there was no way I was apologizing first; he started it, calling me a weakling, saying I couldn’t fight. I’d show him.
“Bella, hun, Bella!” Charlie snapped his fingers in front of my face. I blinked, snatched from my angst. “You feelin’ okay? The sandwich was harmless, you know.”
I glanced down at my plate to find my half eaten sandwich in pieces. Guess I hadn’t been paying attention. I shook my head, trying yet failing to dispel the thoughts. “I’m sorry, Dad. Did you want something?”
“No family relation, remember that, but I’ll let it go for now. I figure now is the best time to brief everyone about the situation in
Suddenly a few arguments seemed very small. I sat up in the chair, breath hitched, eyes wide as I waited for the news. What was happening in Forks? Did they know we were missing? They had to by now; half the cattle of Forks had moved out that night.
“I’ve got reports that the vampires aren’t taking our disappearance very well; it was a big hit to their supply, they’ve been depleting the blood banks in
“Any injured?” It was unusual for the vamps to go after La Push. From what we knew La Push was neutral territory to the vampires, they didn’t really mess with it. But it showed how desperate they were. Not many were left in La Push; a lot of families got out early, claiming they’d return when the vampires were dead.
“A few, but their okay now. Only two dead.”
“What else did you learn?”
“Some houses of the resistance were burnt down as a cover story for the disappearing act. Ours was one of them. They already told Renee we’re dead.”
My heart sank to my stomach. “Did you call her?” The house that held so many memories, so many possessions, was gone. All the pictures of my friends in
Charlie shook his head before finishing off his coffee. “It’s not worth it, you know that. It’s better she thinks we’re dead rather than worry about us. Actually, I think we had good timing this year. The vampires are frenzied trying to gain control of Forks again; they’re scattered, and we know where they put their feet up during the day.”
“How did our men uncover that? Do we have a hostage? Did one of the bloodwhores finally talk?” I asked excitedly.
It was against vampiric code for a vampire or one of its minions to give out a nests’ location. Trying to get a bloodwhore to shut up about her protector was impossible, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get her to give up the information. Getting a Renfield to talk was just as impossible; they were bound to the vampire as food, informant, and protection—whatever protection a vampire can get from a human.
“Something like that,” Charlie replied. “What matters is that we have the information, not how we got it.”
“So all I have to do is stop in
Charlie grinned and rolled his eyes. “Can’t rest for a minute, I swear,” he mumbled. Louder, he continued, taking in the whole table, “They’ve made a nest in
“They guard the entrances?” Paul asked.
“Unfortunately. They may be onto us and are setting up defense, which will make infiltration much harder.”
“How are we all getting into Forks? Since you guys got out, they have to be watching the roads for suspicious people coming in. There’s no way we can just drive through,” Jacob said with a frown.
“Of course not,” Charlie replied, way too nonchalant. “No one needs to worry about transportation. You all have tickets to
“Wait,” I interrupted. “I thought you were coming with us. What are you going to do?”
“I’ll be in
A month? There was no way we could do it in that short time span. We still didn’t even know where the main base of operation was. It had to be somewhere in
The clock on the wall chimed—it was one of those annoying bird clocks, every hour had a different bird call—and Charlie jumped up from the table.
“Is everyone packed? It’s about time you all got the airport,” he said. “Don’t want to miss your flight.”
Angela, Paul, and Jacob begrudgingly moved from the table while I stayed seated. My stuff was still nicely folded inside the store bags; Angela could shove them inside her suitcase. Suddenly I wasn’t sure I could do this. Charlie planned for a month. We weren’t professional killers; this would take at least half a year, maybe more. Our intelligence was lacking in
I knew we couldn’t just take Forks and be happy with it. If we didn’t knock out the surrounding areas, reinforcements would show up and push us back. We had to take it all in one go—for our peace of mind.
When everyone disappeared into their rooms and it was just Charlie and I left in the kitchen, I gathered the dishes on the table and joined him at the sink. Maybe I was only a little hesitant because he wasn’t going to be there. I wasn’t sure who I would be working with besides Paul and Jake. I always fought with my dad, but he was going to
So why was I suddenly nervous?
I bit my lip, an annoying childhood habit I couldn’t break, as I grabbed a glass and the carton of milk from the fridge. I didn’t know what to say yet and I had a feeling Charlie could tell something emotional was about to happen. He waited until I was finished with my drink before he spoke.
“I know you’re upset I’m not going to Forks but Bells, you know how important this is,” he said softly. The last time he called me Bells was when I visited him in the summer with Renee, when I was five. “They need me in
“I know, I know,” I pouted. “I just . . . I know you love doing reckless things and I worry about you.”
He chuckled. “Worry about me? You should worry for yourself; I’m used to working in stressful environments, you’re used to little things like high school. I’m worried for you. Have you even thought about how this will affect you when it’s all over? I’m scared you’ll never live a normal life. You should have listened to me when I told you to go back to your mother.”
“I’m not worried about it; I know once the vamps are dead everything will go back to normal. I’ll go to school, I’ll get a job—normal.”
“The psychological effects, Bella.”
Oh. That I hadn’t thought about. Could I live in a place that didn’t have me checking over my shoulder every ten seconds? Knowing someone monitored everything I did? Worrying that a monster could waltz through the front door at night and kill me?
“I’ll be fine,” I argued weakly. I had no idea if that was true. I wasn’t sure I could do it.
Charlie frowned, obviously looking right through me. He didn’t push it, though; now was not the time for fighting. “We’ll see. You better get moving. The sooner you get to
“Are you heading out tonight?”
“Yup. Billy will finally some peace and quiet around here.”
“But he’ll be by himself here. I thought he was a social butterfly kind of guy.”
“Well apparently he won’t be all alone; he met a woman a few months ago. She’s a nice lady, real good for him.”
“Wow! I didn’t even know he was looking,” I laughed. The tension dispersed briefly.
“He says she snuck up on him,” he said with a short laugh.
The kitchen grew uncomfortable again. Jacob came through and told me to get moving in the friendliest voice he could muster—fine, maybe I can apologize first and prove I’m a bigger man than him—but I waited until the three of them were all in the living room. Charlie wasn’t big about affection but he was going to get some whether he liked it or not.
Without warning I hugged him tightly around the waist. It was going to be short but when I went to pull away his arms wrapped around my shoulders. This was a first for him.
“Take care of yourself out there,” he said quietly. His voice was thick with emotion.
“You too; please be careful,” I said with a shaky voice.
“If it makes you feel any better, Sue will be there to keep me out of trouble. There’s no reason to worry about me. Now get movin’; those vamps aren’t going to kill themselves, you know.”
I released him and wiped my eyes; I wasn’t crying but it sure felt like it. He touched my shoulder.
“I love you, Bells. Be careful.” As soon as he said it the emotional father was gone and replaced with the no-nonsense one; the one that could survive anything, kill anything, and had a strong daughter.
But I couldn’t resist the little girl inside. “I love you too, Daddy.”
I ran out the door.
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