Chapter Eleven

They took him, Bella. Charlie’s gone.

Time slowed. Angela helped me sit down, saying something, but I couldn’t hear her. The world had dimmed down to a dull roar, and everything was blurry. My breath was coming too fast. People were crowding around me, pressing against me, and I couldn’t handle that. It’s not true.

I shoved everyone away from me and ran upstairs, slamming the bathroom door. I sat on the lip of the tub, putting my head between my legs, taking deep breaths. I couldn’t deal with this. I just couldn’t. It wasn’t possible; it couldn’t happen. With that, I shoved the information to the back of my mind, completely ignored it, as my eyesight cleared. The bathroom was no longer a blur of white and brown, and I took a gasping breath, clutching at my chest. It’s not true! The mantra repeated in my head.

Someone knocked on the door. I ignored them by turning on the shower and getting out of my clothes, setting the guns carefully on the floor. I had yet to get the grime off me. Yes, that was more important right now; getting clean, I could do that much. Had to get clean, had to wash off the remains of the vampire and the mud. I had to wash it all away from me.

A piece of paper fluttered to the floor. I shoved it under my guns so no one would mess with it and disregarded it. Clean. I had to get clean.

My hands trembled as I watched the water rush down the drain. It was threatening to break through the wall I put it behind. It wasn’t true—whatever Eric said down there was a complete lie. I stared as the water ran pink down my body. Tugging at the bits in my hair, I hoped it would all come out. I had to focus on getting clean. Nothing else.

But time alone wasn’t doing me any good either.

I rushed my shower, hoped I removed all the gore and grime from my body, and jumped out into the warm, moist air. My clothes were gone, but my guns were untouched. A fresh shirt and jeans with packaged underwear were laid on the sink counter; toiletries sat beside the clothes with a note. My smile was weak as I read Mrs. Cheney’s kind words. That woman was always looking out for everyone, thinking so far ahead to even bring clothes when she stopped by. She went home with her husband not long after dinner, so Angela must’ve brought them in.

I dried off and dressed, running the towel through my hair. As I slid into my rig, settling the guns around me, running my fingers over my pistol, I felt a little calmer. But it was still there at the back of my mind, pushing against that wall.

I wiped off the fogged mirror over the sink to double-check my hair, and gave a little scream at what I saw. Seth and Tyler stood beside me, each with their trademark jackass smiles. Seth’s smile was always curved at the right side, while Tyler’s showed more teeth. I looked around the room, but no one was with me, only in the mirror. I threw the towel at them with a frustrated yell, and when it fell, they were gone. It was just me, alone in the bathroom.

I pulled the brush quickly through my hair. I had to get out of here; it was getting harder to breathe. That fine tremble returned to my hands, stretching all the way through my body so that I had to hold onto the counter with my free hand to keep my knees from giving out. I finished my hair, thankful the shower had taken care of the remains, and used the cheap toothbrush and toothpaste, hurrying through that task, too. I finally had myself under control so I could face everyone downstairs, when I saw a flicker of movement in the mirror, and it wasn’t me.

Charlie stood behind me in the mirror, his hands resting on my shoulders, giving me the smile I rarely saw.

I could feel the weight of his hands on my shoulders. He looked peaceful, but the strength he held me with told me I was his lifeline. It’s not real! It’s not true! I thrashed out of his grasp, and he faded before my eyes. I hated the tears and anguish on my face.

“It wasn’t my fault!” I screamed at the mirror.

I threw the door open to find Angela’s shocked face. Pushing past her, I descended the stairs. The house was basically empty, and I knew Sam had already sent the groups out to hunt the town. It wouldn’t matter. The vampires were already gone, but they wanted to make sure we were safe for the night. I heard Angela on the stairs behind me, but I wasn’t interested in her. I shoved the fear aside and replaced it with my newest friend: anger.

I felt the familiar lava of rage burning through my veins, and this time the tears weren’t forming because I scared. I had no one to blame, but it had to be someone’s fault things went wrong, so I did the only logical thing I could think of. I punched Eric Yorkie in the face.

He stumbled back, catching himself on the sofa as he held his jaw. I didn’t care if my hand was already bruised from hitting Embry; Eric was the weakling in Port Angeles. He delivered the news. That made it his fault. I didn’t stop with just one hit. I jumped on him, rode him to the floor, and tried to pummel his face in; Sam pulled me to my feet before I could do much damage, but his mouth was bleeding and he’d have a hell of a black eye.

Sam secured my arms behind my back, but I fought him. I twisted and kicked out at him, but he was bigger and stronger and kept me in place. He held me tight against his body, making it nearly impossible to move.

“What do you mean they took him?” I screamed at Eric.

Cautiously, Angela moved to help Eric up, as she watched me like I had two heads and was ready to eat her. I didn’t care about her—I wanted Eric. I was ready to kill him for this.

“It’s not like we let them,” Eric argued, spitting blood onto the white carpet. “I thought we got them all, but they smoked us out. We tried to fight them off, honestly, but when the smoke cleared Charlie was gone.”

“That’s no excuse! Do you know what they’ll do to him? You should die for this mistake!”

Angela gasped with horror, and Sam brought his beefy arm around my neck. I knew what he was trying to do. With enough pressure he could knock me out for a few hours, and maybe I did need the sleep, maybe that’s why I was acting like this, but I wanted to hold onto my anger. This shouldn’t have happened. Charlie was there to guide them; he would’ve made sure the area was secure. He wouldn’t make a mistake. Something went wrong.

I thrashed in Sam’s hold. “Let go of me!”

“Calm down, Bella,” he growled in my ear. “This is ridiculous. You’re making a fool out of yourself.”

“No I’m not—this shouldn’t have happened!” The tears were threatening to spill over with my anger and fear, and I had to fight to hold them back. “He wouldn’t let it happen.”

“But it did, and you have to accept that. But we’ll get him back.”

“No! They’ll kill him!”

Sam ignored my whimpering and turned his attention to Eric. His strength didn’t let up; it was getting hard to breathe, and that wasn’t a good thing, since I was nearly hyperventilating. No one else seemed to be affected by the news that Charlie was kidnapped by the vampires. Didn’t anyone care? He worked diligently to make sure we were able to get our town back. He looked after everyone’s safety—he sacrificed years of his life to helping others. Why didn’t they care?

“What’s the bad news in all this, Eric?” Sam asked calmly. Bad news? We already received the bad news!

“Um, well, we know it wasn’t the Port Angeles vampires, because we searched the area up and down, inside and out. It’s completely deserted of the undead. We think they were from Seattle, and that’s where they took him. But . . . we don’t have the location of the main nest.”

I clawed at Sam’s arm; he loosened it just enough that I could take a deeper breath. “What do you mean you don’t know where they are? Are you in charge of intel or not? Do your job!”

He immediately cut me off again, and I choked on my long line of curse words. “Bella, calm down; we’ll find it. Give them a few days.”

“We don’t have a few days, Sam!” I gasped. “They’ll kill him!” If the vampires knew my face, they no doubt knew Charlie, too. What did they want with us? Was it only because he was the leader of the resistance, or were the vamps planning something more deadly?

“Don’t you have any faith in Charlie?” Sam asked. His voice was low and dangerous with his anger. “When you were missing for a week, he still believed you were alive and fighting. He didn’t think you died in a car crash; he refused to believe a vampire grabbed you, and he was damn sure you were going to show up willing to fight. Now stop acting like a child and control yourself.”

Acting like a child? That’s what he thought I was doing? Oh no, I could get much worse, much more childish. I’d bite him if I thought it would do me any good. But I wasn’t overreacting! I didn’t care if he thought I was a nuisance. It wasn’t his father on the line.

The vampires would try to make Charlie talk. They would interrogate and torture him, but I already knew he wouldn’t give anything away. They’d kill him as soon as they saw that. He couldn’t fight against a coven by himself. My eyesight was still watery from tears, but so far I was winning. I was shaking, but I wasn’t crying. I would not cry.

Sam took it as a good sign. He sat me in the armchair farthest away from Eric and waited to see if I would bolt. No, I wasn’t going to attack him. Actually, I owed him an apology, but until Charlie was safe, Eric would have to wait. I had more important things to do than say I was sorry. I wrapped my arms around myself and held my breath, wishing the burning sensation in my chest would pass. I wouldn’t cry. Charlie didn’t raise a wimp.

A warm hand touched my shoulder, and I looked up to find sympathy written all over Jake’s face. He was gone for less than ten minutes; there was no way they checked all of Forks. I shook his hand off, trying to push him away, but I got very little breathing room. He knelt beside my chair.

“Bella?” Jake asked quietly.

“Please don’t touch me,” I whispered hoarsely. I fought against the dread inside, stinging my stomach like thousands of angry bees. “If you touch me, I’ll lose it. I’m trying very hard . . . not to . . . to. . . .”

“I understand.” He stood and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “It will be okay, Bella. We’ll find him.”

I never hated lies so much in my life. We didn’t even know where the Seattle vampires stayed; they would kill Charlie before we could find them. We had control of two towns—our intelligence group should be able to work more efficiently now that they weren’t being monitored. If only we could get spies inside Seattle, but we would need a vampire to get our information. I knew from unlucky late night excursions in Seattle that any unknown vamp walking the streets had to check into the main coven. For precautions and a strict lecture, I guess. But didn’t all vampires know about the Seattle situation?

It took me several agonizing minutes to remember something important. That’s it! I jumped out of the chair with a gasp. Jake was the first to ask me if something was wrong, but I ignored him and searched my pockets. I hated to think it, yet maybe it was good that I kept the number. But where did I put it? I checked all my pockets, my socks, my shoes—duh, I shoved it in my bra for safe keeping. I felt the slip of paper against my skin, but I’d wait to pull it out.

“Bella, what’s wrong?” Jake repeated.

I waved him off. “Do we have a phone here?” I asked.

“In the kitchen,” Sam answered, eyeing me warily.

The number was in my fingers before I reached the phone. I was on the fifth digit when reality crashed onto my shoulders, the anger coming back in a hot wave. What was I thinking? I slammed the phone back in its cradle and paced the kitchen floor.

I wasn’t desperate. I wasn’t stupid! My fingers were poised to rip the paper into tiny shreds, just like I should have done when I first got it. I nearly called a vampire for a quick fix to a problem that didn’t concern him. We could solve it ourselves in a few days—no! We didn’t have that kind of time. We needed that location now, and we had to clear it out.

My trembling hand picked up the phone again. With the beach trip and siege, I had nearly forgotten about hoarding information. I was too busy focusing on not dying to remember that I had a vampire’s number, and he was happy to help. Could I really call him? It was incredibly stupid. What would Charlie say? But what did that vamp say to me? “I know how you see it, but asking for help from people who already offered is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of intelligence.”

I hated him. I hated that his voice wouldn’t get out of my head. That somehow he seemed to be hiding behind every crisis with a calm head.

I took a deep breath, held it for three seconds, and slowly released it as I dialed the number. This was way out of my comfort zone, but if he didn’t know then I could hang up, tear the number to pieces and find the place myself. If he knew something about it . . . I was doing it for Charlie, and I’d do a lot of stupid stuff for my dad. I guess that included calling a vampire.

After the third ring the phone connected, and a soft voice came through the phone. “Carlisle speaking.”

Suddenly I had to sit down. My knees were shaking again. Leaning against the wall, I pried my dry mouth open to ask, “Carlisle Cullen?” It was a stupid question; of course it was him. Who else in this century had such an old name?

“Yes. May I ask whose calling?”

“Bella.”

It was a few seconds before he answered with a chuckle. “I had a feeling. So wonderful to hear from you, Bella, though I must say I’m surprised you called. You’re back in Forks, I take it?” It came out as a question.

I didn’t ask how he knew—whether he had caller ID or it was freaky vampire powers, I didn’t want to know. But I had to answer truthfully if I wanted my information. “Yes. We’re holding Forks and Port Angeles,” I replied.

“Wonderful! You certainly work quickly. Yet, I sense you didn’t call me to brag.”

“No, in fact, it seems we hit rock bottom, and I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”

He was silent on the line but I heard papers shuffling, so I knew he was there. Was he at work? “I recall that I told you we were happy to help with whatever you may need; however, judging by your tone of voice, something is going to come out of your mouth that I feel I may have to reject.”

“You’d be going back on your word. Old vam—men like you don’t do that.” I nearly spilled the beans just as Jacob came into the kitchen. He had that questioning look on his face. I really wished he’d go back to the other room.

“Very intuitive of you, but I never gave my word of honor.” Carlisle laughed, and I shuddered at the sound. It was too pleasant and perfect; it was a little eerie. “Go ahead and ask your favor.”

I turned my back to Jake, although I knew he was listening, and spoke slowly into the phone. “Our intelligence is limited at the moment, and something bad happened. We need to find the Seattle nest immediately. I know you know what’s going on, so you should know where they are, correct?”

More silence. I couldn’t even hear him breathing. It was unnerving but didn’t surprise me; he was probably calling the Seattle vampires to warn them. The silence stretched for so long, I had to ask if he was still there.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” he sighed.

“You don’t know, or won’t tell me?” I asked.

“From what I’m aware, those in Seattle are very ancient. They used to reside in Italy, but wanted to give America a try. That was long ago; for all I know, they may have moved back and left Seattle to renegades.” He hesitated before continuing in a softer voice. “But that mark you have makes me believe it is the ancients. I do know where they are, but what you’re asking . . . I may not be able to answer. You see, they are the very first of my kind, and dear friends to me. They started the vampire race as we know it.”

“Bella,” Jake hissed, “who are you talking to?”

I ignored him. “So what does it cost you to give up their location and we kill them? It’s not like it will kill yo—half the species.” I didn’t want to clue in Jake; if he didn’t know I was talking to a vampire, I wasn’t going to tell him.

Carlisle knew what I was about to say. Being a vampire, he knew more about their connections through blood. “That’s correct. Some are too far removed, only those with the direct bloodline will be affected. But Bella, I’m not sure you know what you are asking of me. These vampires are very dangerous.”

“Where are they?” I asked with a low voice. I wanted to sound threatening, but that was hard to do with a six-foot-something beast of a boy breathing down my neck.

“I’m not sure this is a conversation to hold over the phone, Bella,” Carlisle said, suddenly nervous. “Perhaps we could talk face-to-face?”

Did I want to see him? No, not just no, but hell no. Yet he had information. “Why can’t you just tell me? You’re in Portland. It would take you—”

“I’ll be there by midnight. And Bella? It was wonderful to hear from you again.”

The connection died before I could reply, and Jake snatched the phone from my hand. I was about to tell him off, until I saw the anger burning in his eyes. He slammed the phone down, a distinct crack filling the air, and turned that glare on me.

“Who was that?” he asked with the tight, controlled voice I was getting used to hearing.

I crossed my arms over my chest. I really had nothing to hide now; Carlisle was going to show up at the house sometime tonight, but I didn’t like the look in Jacob’s eyes. It clearly screamed traitor.

“Someone who is actually going to tell me what’s going on,” I replied stiffly.

“Bella, you can’t snap your fingers and demand whatever you want! It takes time—”

“We don’t have time, Jacob! Charlie is probably already sitting in a dungeon cell, bloodied up, and defenseless, and I’m not going to let him die. That’s my dad! Imagine if it was Billy who was stolen from under your nose.”

Jake grabbed my shoulders roughly. He shook me and my head snapped against the wall, a flash of pain raced down my spine while starbursts appeared in my vision. I held the whimper of pain inside, but I was really getting tired of being manhandled by my own team. “Listen to yourself! You’re doing it again—acting like no one else is fighting.”

“They’re not,” I argued. I tried to ignore the massive headache as I squirmed in his grip. “Our forces were fighting for Forks and Port Angeles, and now we have both. What else do they have to fight for? I’m not even sure we can take Seattle back, but I know Charlie is the last thing on their minds!”

“That’s not true.” I could feel his fingers tighten, wanting to slam me against the wall with his rage, but I didn’t let him. I was sick of arguing with him, and that was why I’d put it to rest for good.

Even if he was my friend and super strong, he was still a guy and they all had a weak spot. I kneed him between the legs and he dropped me with a pained cry, holding himself as he knelt on the floor. I wobbled on my weak legs. The room was spinning, and I felt I would vomit at any minute. Not good. I hid my weakness behind the anger boiling in my veins again.

“You’re really starting to piss me off, Jacob,” I snapped. “You say you’re my friend yet you constantly try to hurt me, physically or emotionally. That’s not what friends do.”

He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself faster. “I’m tired of you . . . acting like a total bitch. You’ve changed since I last saw you; you were sweet and kind. Now you just think of yourself.”

I grit my teeth to resist stomping his face into the floor. I was thinking of myself when I wanted to save my town and free my friends? I was thinking of myself when I wanted to rescue Charlie?

“Oh yes, I’m clearly the only person who exists on earth,” I said sarcastically. “Tell me, what do I get for being a hero and saving Forks? Because I did that by myself, you know. And I guess I’ll get an award for saving my dad and freeing Seattle by myself, too. I’m tired of constantly arguing with you. I don’t need it right now, but if it’s going to keep up”—I had to take a second to think. I won’t be your friend anymore was too childish. I could only threaten him with the truth, even if I kind of regretted to think it. “If it keeps going like this, I’ll never watch your back. If you ever get in trouble, I won’t be there to help you. I’ll let you die just so you’ll leave me alone.”

His eyes widened with shock. I didn’t sound like me at all, but in that moment, I was willing to do whatever it took to get him out of my hair without killing him myself.

Our spat was cut short by Embry entering the kitchen. He stumbled and dramatically fanned himself when he saw us. He wobbled over to the high-tech stove that sat in the far corner. “Whoa, it’s like walking into an oven in here. Did someone leave this thing on? The Yorkie’s should know better; they’ll burn down the house.” He cut the act and turned to Jake and me with a somber face. “Oh, it’s just you two at each other’s throats again, and it looks like she’s got the upper hand.”

Jake sat against the wall with a groan. “I deserved it,” he murmured weakly.

Embry stepped between us and pulled out a chair from the table and sat down, his eyes glancing from one of us to the other. I had a feeling we were about to get chewed out by a stranger.

“Why are you guys always fighting? I know I shouldn’t even know about your fights because we basically just met, but Sam and I are friends. He’s filled me in. Sam can’t deal with your PMSing or whatever it is you’re doing with all the other shit that’s piling up, so he’s enlisted me as help.” He pointed at me. “I found out about your hissy-fit; be thankful my men didn’t hear about it. I know you’re worried about your dad, but acting the way you did was uncalled for. You know the way my guys look at you now, like you’re fucking Lara Croft? They wouldn’t put up with a stunt like that. You’re lucky no one else saw that shit. If you had that kind of outburst in front of them, they wouldn’t respect you anymore; you’d be cannon fodder, and it’d be a damn shame to lose you. You need to get your head on straight, and threatening your team’s safety isn’t the way to go. You’re a walking bomb. When the fuse gets too close, well, let’s just say no one wants to be around if you go off like that again. There’s obviously something that’s making you lash out. Why don’t you sit down with a friend and talk it out?”

“I don’t share my feelings,” I growled.

He scoffed. “Apparently you do, just not through words. I thought you were a crazy chick, in a good way. You really know your stuff. Now I don’t know what to think of you. I would be scared—what if you attack one of my men? What if I’m your next target?—but you wouldn’t stand a chance against us. Whatever your deal is, seriously, consider talking to that mousy girl. Angela? She seems nice.”

I did a long blink to hide my astonishment. Since when did Embry become our peacemaker? It seemed a little unreal to get counseling from a man with a Mohawk, who seemed to hate wearing long sleeves, including coats.

He turned his attention to Jake. “And you, you just egg her on. Sam told me you’re normally leveled headed; you’ve got a better grip on yourself than anyone else he knows, so how come that all goes out the window when you’re around her? Don’t even answer, I know what’s coming. You know the reason, you just won’t admit it. Or maybe you have—I don’t know, and I don’t care, because it’s your business. But you know how a dog can sense its owner’s emotions? I feel that’s how you two are. She gets angry about some little thing, that anger travels to you, and you return it ten fold. That doesn’t help anybody. You shouldn’t use each other as a conductor for the negative energy; eventually it will spread to everyone else and make them feel just as bad.”

“We don’t need you telling us what to do,” I said, but my bad mood had definitely faded so there was no bite to my words. “I don’t care if Sam asked you to talk to us; we can work this out ourselves.”

“Not without hurting each other,” Embry replied. He leaned back so his elbows rested on the table behind him. He looked completely at ease, but I could tell he was fighting to hide a smile. “I heard your head hit the wall, Bella. It wasn’t ‘nothing’ and you really can’t be fine after that. How are you feeling?”

The sick feeling was slowly fading, so aside from the room spinning and the massive headache? “I’m perfectly fine.”

He gave me a cocky grin. “Don’t be ridiculous. I would be surprised if your skull didn’t crack. Look, you left a mark.” He pointed to the wall on his right, and I followed his thumb to find there was a dent left in the drywall. I had a feeling if I placed my head there, even my shoulders, it would be an identical match down to the sword resting between my shoulder blades. Jake nearly slammed my whole head through the wall without meaning to.

“How about you, man?” he asked Jake. “Are the family jewels okay?”

Jacob was giving the other man a very wide-eyed look. I half expected him to open his mouth and ask, “What are you?” but he closed his eyes and shook his head to clear the thoughts away. “I’m better now,” he answered. “Won’t be able to run for a little while, but I’m okay.”

“Can you even stand?”

“With some help, maybe.”

Embry stood up and carefully helped Jacob to his feet. He didn’t make a noise as he got up off the floor, and points to him for standing up straight. He still looked uncomfortable, but he wasn’t going to appear even weaker in front of Embry.

Embry gave him a knowing grin and said, “I know, man. Getting kicked in the balls sucks, but having a pretty girl do it just adds to the pain.”

“That’s an insult,” Jacob laughed. “Bella isn’t pretty.”

They shared a masculine chortle that I was obviously left out of, but the look they gave me was all I needed to know what they were talking about. I could hear the unspoken words hanging the air; Jake always teased me about the meaning of my name. The blush climbed up my face without warning, and I stomped back into the living room, leaving their laughter behind me. Let them have their guy bonding. I didn’t feel like arguing anymore.

I rubbed my temples in an effort to soothe my headache; Embry only made it worse. Because of his stupid talk, I was overflowing with guilt. I shouldn’t have acted that way toward Eric, but he was the closest person to hit, and I really couldn’t control that impulse. I was also making things harder on Sam. He had control of the entire resistance now that Charlie was . . . indisposed for the moment, and there was still a lot of work to be done. Of course, we needed the intelligence groups to get back to us about locations and blue prints, so there wasn’t much for us to do at the moment. Maybe the Marines knew something about quick satellite positioning.

I wanted to talk to Sam first, but he was nowhere to be found downstairs, so I climbed the stairs and found Eric in the bathroom. He was sitting on the lip of the bathtub getting patched up by Angela. They had a quiet conversation going on, but when I stopped in front of the doorway, it dissolved into silence. Eric tensed as if waiting for me to pounce, while Angela’s eyes danced between me and the pistol settled under her arm. I told her not to be afraid to pull the trigger, and if that meant protecting one friend from another, crazed friend, I couldn’t blame her.

“Hey Eric, I owe you an apology,” I said softly, leaning in the doorway. I figured they wouldn’t be comfortable if I was completely inside. “I acted really stupidly earlier, and I didn’t mean to. I just wasn’t expecting news like that. I’m really sorry.”

A little of the tension released from his body with his sigh; he’d held his breath. “Um, it’s okay. I guess,” he said. “I mean, I would have done the same thing if it were one of my parents. And the Chief is all you have left, so it makes sense you reacted like that.”

I swallowed thickly. Yeah, he was all I had, since the vampires told Renee we were dead. “Still, I should have controlled myself better. This isn’t the time to be fighting with each other.”

“Is it ever?” Angela joked.

I chuckled nervously. “No, I guess not. Not until everything is over and done with, anyway.”

“Gosh, we’ll have so much free time then. What will we do?”

“Whatever we want.” I shrugged. I already knew what I was doing; I was going back to school. “Anyway, I need to find Sam.”

“Second door on the left,” Eric said.

With a wave, I continued down the hall. I stopped in front of the door, unsure of what to do. The dark cherry wood door was closed, and the conversation on the other side seemed serious. Should I knock or let it go? I took my chances and hit my good hand against the door. The voices ceased, and the door popped opened. It was Red, and he didn’t look happy to see me.

“Is Sam in there?” I asked.

“He’s busy,” Red replied, already closing the door in my face.

“Wait.” Sam appeared behind him, almost towering over the other man by a head or two. Red stepped back, letting Sam take his place in the doorway. “If this is another—”

“It’s not.” I glanced behind him through the space he left when he crossed his arms over his chest. There were several Marines inside the bedroom along with Jared and Paul; if this was a meeting of the minds, I had a feeling it wasn’t going so well.

Sam caught me peeking and stepped outside the room, closing the door behind him with a sigh. “What now, Bella? I love you like a sister, I do, and I promised Charlie I would look after you, but you are really wearing on my last nerve.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I realized after what happened that you have a lot on your plate right now without adding my emotions to it. I just . . . I feel helpless. I have these amazing guns that I didn’t get to fire once, and some of my friends are still being used, while others are dead, and now with Charlie missing it’s just—”

“Too much to handle?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “It feels like it, but I have to keep going, right? If I stop for one minute, the nightmares and fears and insecurities will catch up with me, and that will just lead straight to a meltdown. You know, before I left for California, Charlie said he was worried about how all of this was affecting me; I told him not to worry. But after these stupid arguments with Jacob and what happened with Eric, I’m . . . scared. I’ve never been a mean person.” My voice wavered and traitor tears crawled down my face. I swiped at them angrily. “I’m sorry. This is so stupid.”

Sam stroked my hair gently, like Renee used to do when I was sick. It didn’t make me feel better, but it helped. “It’s okay to cry, Bella. Sometimes that’s all we can do to relieve the tension. It helps keep us sane, so we don’t feel threatened by what’s coming next. I know what happened to Tyler in the nest is bothering you; it kills me, too. I tried to get him clear, but they set off the tanks early. The vampires were pouring out, and Tyler said to do it; they were attracted to his blood.”

I looked up into his solemn face and gaped at his words. “Tyler sacrificed himself?”

“Yes. He quickly killed the vampire who had him, but he used his own injuries to distract them and keep them together. That’s how we cleared the basement so fast; they knew we were coming, and most of them hid in that back room. The explosion took all of them.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Tyler had a reason to fight; he shouldn’t have sacrificed himself. Now he’ll never know if his mom would be okay. He would never see Forks return to normal. He would never hang out and share jokes or achieve his dream of being an engineer. He gave himself up for everyone in Forks with only one dream checked off his list: visiting a real beach.

“Do you need to sit down?” Sam asked, probably worried by the way my jaw hung open.

I snapped my mouth shut and shook my head. “I’m fine. I just can’t believe he would do that. I knew he felt strongly about killing vampires, but I never thought he would do something so reckless.”

“He scared me; I thought he was delusional or possessed. I was ready to grab him, but he got up and charged right into the room.” He shook his head. “I never saw someone so determined.”

“I must’ve rubbed off on him,” I joked weakly.

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, probably. But don’t let this hurt your focus; honor his memory by fighting for him.”

I nodded. We had to change the subject. After seeing Tyler’s face in the mirror, I really didn’t want to talk about him anymore. The subject I had in mind was just as unpleasant, but it was time to fess up. “Hey, have you come up with a solution about Seattle yet?”

“We spoke with the intelligence group, but most of their equipment was ruined by the vampire attack. They’re sending some people into Seattle for reconnaissance, so we might not hear from them for a few days.” He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. That one sound held all the tiredness in the world, and I wondered when he last slept; he was starting to look exhausted. “Embry offered to help them by sending a bunch of equipment, but I think he’s secretly adding all this stuff to a tab. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would give out military equipment for free.”

“I don’t care what he does, just as long as he doesn’t take my Striker back.” I stroked the gun at my side lovingly, but it couldn’t distract me from what I was about to do. “Uh, about the situation, I might have found someone who can help. But there’s a catch.”

“What it is?”

I told him the truth about the time I spent with “Dr. Collins.” Everyone in the resistance knew about the accident, but if they found out I lied, I was a little nervous what they’d do. Telling Sam wouldn’t hurt; we were like family, and there was a certain trust between us. Out of everyone, I trusted him the most.

By the end of it, he was sitting against the wall with his eyes closed, shaking his head, I think, in exasperation. “Wow,” was all he said.

“I didn’t mean to lie about it, but it really tested my willpower to even let them get near me,” I said quietly. We were in the hallway, after all; anyone could hear. “They took my gun, and I couldn’t walk two steps without wanting to pass out; I was hurt, and weak, and Carlisle only wanted to help. They didn’t hurt me at all; they didn’t even threaten me, and I felt that I would be betraying them by saying anything. I never thought I would see them again, and they weren’t in Washington, so I . . . just started making things up.”

“Never thought you’d see them again?”

“Yeah, that’s the catch. I called him.”

Sam’s eyes shot open. “You what?” he hissed. “Do you realize how stupid that was? He’s a vampire, Bella! He’s with them!”

“He never said he was with the Seattle group, but he knows them. He’s coming here to talk strategy, I think.”

“He’s coming here? Bella, are you trying to kill us all? You have to call him back and tell him he’s not welcome. If he comes within Forks’ limits, he’s dead.”

I took a more defensive stance against Sam. I thought we would be on the same page. We both wanted what was best for the town, what would speed up the entire operation, and he was the most compassionate person I knew. He was the most level-headed of us all. I really thought I could confide in Sam with this. If I knew he was going to react this way, I would have kept it to myself and met Carlisle in private.

My skin ran cold. It was scary to think I trusted a vampire more than my own team.

“Like you would actually know when he showed up,” I scoffed. “Listen, he said he could help, and he hasn’t hurt me yet, so I think his word is good. But if he puts one foot out of line, we’ll kill him. Simple as that.”

Sam stood and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you. Maybe it was the time you spent with them that messed you up, but did you forget what these vampires have done? They took your town, your family, and stole your friends. They restricted your life and tried to kill you. We fought to keep them out. Do you really want to invite that back in to Forks?”

I was about to reply until the door opened behind him, and Jared stuck his head out the door. He seemed a little uncomfortable, almost as if he knew we were arguing. But that could have been because of the way Sam and I glared at each other.

“Sam, Sue’s on the phone,” Jared said. “She wants to talk to you right away.”

Sue called? I didn’t even hear the phone ring. Was there one inside the bedroom?

“I’ll be there in a second. Ask her to wait, please,” he replied.

Jared disappeared behind the door again. I wished Sam went with him; I couldn’t stand the way he was looking at me. It seemed I got the same look from everyone anymore. Anger, pity, shame, and the glare that labeled me a traitor. At least Sam wasn’t yelling, but maybe he was too tired for that.

I tried to backtrack, to pretend I never told him about the Cullens. “You need to get some sleep soon.” I touched his arm gently, trying to put all the worry I felt about our situation into my face. “You look like you’re about to fall over, and we all need you to be bright eyed and bushy tailed. You’re the only one in this whole group that can make smart decisions, apparently.”

“Sweet talking isn’t going to help your position, Bella.” He sighed heavily, shaking my hand off. “I don’t like what you’ve done, but it may be the only lead we have,” he relented. “If he makes one remark or movement I don’t like, he’s dead. Is that clear?”

The tension eased, and I fought to keep the grin off my face as I saluted, just for fun. “Sir, yes sir!”

He grinned wearily and shook his head at me. “Go rest up, soldier. You did well today.”

I didn’t correct him and tell him I really did nothing at all, only turned and went back downstairs so he could have his conversation. I wondered what Sue was calling about. Maybe she had good news about the intel groups? Or was it about Charlie’s disappearance, or maybe she knew what went wrong? What if the vampires had been expecting their attack? No, Eric said they secured the town before it happened. So vamps had been waiting, knowing that our leader would be with that group. Maybe. I was just trying to guess worst case scenario.

Eric, Paul, Jacob, and Angela were lounging in the living room when I descended the steps. Mike was resting upstairs, trying to sleep his injuries off, while I supposed the rest of the Marines were in the basement. If I remembered correctly, it was a nice, big basement that had a billiards table and home theater system; it could easily fit ten tired men for the night.

I sat next to Angela on the sofa and stretched my legs in front of me. It was only seven, but the sun had set almost an hour ago, and the room was filled with the warm glow of the white sconces mounted on the wall. It kind of reminded me of my house, except we didn’t have the money to throw around like the Yorkie’s; his dad was some big shot businessman in Seattle and his mom was a psychiatrist. Why they never moved into the city was beyond me, but I was glad they stayed. I considered Eric one of my friends. Who else would I have to discuss the latest action flick with? Sure, Mike, but he only rated based on how much gore was in it; Eric looked at the bigger picture.

Angela suggested I take my rig off, wondering if I was uncomfortable. How could anyone be uncomfortable being surrounded by these wonderful guns? Still, I pulled the FAMAS free and set it and the Striker on the floor beside the sofa, out of the way so no one would trip on them. I’d ditch the sword, but then the sharp blade would be naked since the sheath was built into the rig. It didn’t bother me; it was thin enough and barely put pressure on my back. I didn’t want to take the whole thing off because I wanted my pistol touching me. I used to sleep with it under my pillow; it was my beautiful, strange security blanket.

I asked Angela if she would wake me up around eleven, since I knew she would be awake; she basically slept the whole fourteen-hour drive here, and if she wasn’t out cold yet, I doubted a few hours would change that. With her agreement, I closed my eyes, and slowly sank into the silent darkness.